Write YOUR Story

Well, finally, it seems that spring has made its arrival here in VA. I'm so thankful for warmer temps and the ability to start making our way to play outside more. We were able to get to the park a couple of times this month as well as playing out in the yard. Yay for spring!!

The month of March has been quite busy. We enjoyed some much needed time with both grandparents.  

We celebrated Dr. Seuss' birthday, St. Patrick's Day, and the first day of spring!! We also shopped for shoes... I was trying on shoes and when I looked up, this is what I found! :)

If ya can't tell, I like to celebrate..

We also attend story time at the library once a week and enjoyed some fun at their spring party. 

This month Caleb also had his first sickness of the winter, an ear infection. Thankfully, within 24 hours of getting the antibiotic, he was back to normal.  He's quite the active toddler these days! One of his favorite things to do is "run circles"! He's also a dance machine :).  Sometimes we have dance parties. Ok, actually, we have dance parties about every other day!! He will ask for music so he can dance. It's great exercise :).  His new word right now is "sure". Everything we ask, he will answer with "sure". He's still obsessed with cars, trucks, trains, tractors, basically anything with wheels. He also likes his books, blocks, and loves to paint and glue. His favorite food, which has been his fav for months now, is "ogurt". He would eat yogurt for every meal and be just happy! Thankfully, he is a healthy, happy little boy and I couldn't be more proud!

The month of March has also brought a lot of tragedy, sadness and death within the surrounding communities of where I live, as well as within my circle of people and connections I've made. Of course, this is not even including the death and tragedies going on around the world. I must say this has been challenging for me and has caused me to do a lot of thinking and praying. In certain instances, I've prayed and prayed that God would change the outcome for certain people. All to realize that God had different plans; plans that are hard to accept and understand. In most of these circumstances, life had been cut too short. Also,diagnosis' have been given at what seems too young of an age. Reality has hit me in the face this month. A reality that I've known but seem to ignore... no one is guaranteed tomorrow. 
I've been thinking so much this month on my life. Many questions have been flooding my mind... Am I doing what God has called me to? Am I living my days as if it could be my last? Do I love enough and give enough? Am I intentionally sharing my faith? I could go on but I won't. :)  As I've been praying and sharing my heart with God, I know this journey is His, not mine! I don't want to waste the time he's giving me on this earth on worthless things. So many verses have been coming to my mind lately. 

 Matthew 6:19-21, Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. 

Colossians 3:1, Since you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on earthly things.  

Through the situations this past month, I'm truly realizing how I am to live out God's purpose and  story in my life no matter what may come.  Most of my life as a Christian I have expressed a certain truth,  but honestly, I feel like I'm just now really getting it. It's the understanding that my life on earth is not my permanent home.  Although I thought I understood this idea, I find myself still living as if this is my forever home. I think I'm finally getting it. Boy, I'm sure glad God doesn't give up on me!! I'm finally getting what really matters. To love God with all my heart, to serve and worship him only. Therefore, it is my mission, my passion to seek out those who have not heard and to be intentionally going and sharing the saving message of Jesus Christ with everyone I come in contact.  Through sickness, trials and pain, I pray that I realize every situation is an opportunity. God's faithfulness and love does not change with our circumstances. Our circumstances become opportunities to share God's love with those you may have otherwise never met.

There's a song that reminds me to continue to allow God to use me, guide me, and to give him authorship of my journey. The song is called Write Your Story by Francesca Battistelli. The words to the chorus are:
                             I'm an empty page
                             I'm an open book
                             Write your story on my heart
                             Come on and make your mark
                             Author of my hope
                             Maker of the stars
                              Let me be your work of art
                             Won't you write your story on my heart

As my heart is heavy, I pray for these families who are being called to journey a difficult path. 

May we all let Christ write His story on our hearts.  Happy Easter!!!

Life

This poor little spot has been much neglected for quite sometime now. A lot has happened over the past year.

 Life... busy, fun, exciting, frustrating, overwhelming, scary. It seems life comes in seasons. As I look back over my thirty-(cough, cough) some years, I  can completely see how this is so true. I was married in my early twenties and of course, like most newlyweds, I tended to view my future and life with rose colored glasses. Of course, I had read the books,  had pre-marital counseling, and seemed to think I had a good grip on life. But I quickly realized that life requires work, effort, patience, understanding, endurance, and most importantly, a solid relationship with my Savior, Jesus Christ. Even though I "knew" these things, as I experienced "life", I became fully aware that it is not easy. I've experienced pain, loss, heartache, as well as joy, happiness, fulfillment, excitement. But, what I've learned the most is through it all, there has been one constant in my life who has proven himself to me over and over again... Jesus Christ. No matter what situation I have ever faced, he has been what I needed. He has been my peace, joy, firm foundation, and constant through every storm and joy of life. 

I say all of this because as I was thinking of possibly taking down this blog, I realized the original reason I started writing was to journal my journey.... which can not be separated from my relationship with Christ. I want to continue to document what the Lord has done and is doing in my life. May it be a source of encouragement to you and a reminder to my family and friends of the God I serve. He is a good God, a mighty God, the ONLY God! 

Over the past year, I have said good-bye to my job as teacher to stay at home with my boy. Originally, this was not my plan. But, of course Isaiah 55:8 reminds me that my ways are not always His ways. God had began tugging at my heart in the fall of 2013. You see, I have a story here. If you don't know me, then you need to know that my husband and I were not suppose to be able to have children. Well, the exact wording from the doctor was "you may have a chance with medical help". In other words, infertility treatments, surgeries, etc. Let me stop here and say I have nothing against medical help for those dealing with infertility. But for my husband and I, we both agreed that we did not want to go down that road. I had witnessed this same scenario with friends. After surgeries, traveling once a month for treatments, it completely took over their life and in the end they still ended with heartache and disappointment. I did not want that kind of life. We surrendered it to God and said your will be done. If you want us to have children, we will. If you don't want us to have children, we won't. Either way, we wanted God's will. Now, I realize I just made it sound like we were just happy go lucky either way. But in truth, we were heartbroken.  I cried... a lot! I prayed.... a lot! It was my desire to have children and be a mommy. Ever since I was a little girl, all I really wanted to do in life was to be a mommy. So, for 11 and half years we waited, we doubted, we trusted. We even attempted foster care. You can read about that here and here. Looking back now, we know God had a plan. Then we had the surprise of our life. In February of 2012, we found out we were going to be parents. Only God! We welcomed a healthy baby boy on October 18, 2012. 

 I went back to work after three months and did ok. It was difficult at first, but I loved my job and students and my boy was being taken care of in the same building which made my transition fairly easy.  But, truth be told, I felt like staying home wasn't an option for me, ever. And honestly, at the time it wasn't... but God had a plan.I survived the next few months until summer break and then enjoyed the best summer I had ever had. When I went back to work in the fall, I just felt dissatisfied. And then it happened, God spoke to my heart and began placing that strong feeling and longing in me to be at home, raising the blessing he gave me. I've been through enough in life and have read in scripture that when God says something is going to happen, it will! But, I doubted, was scared and unsure and honestly could not see how it would work out. But.... God had a plan. In reality, I wanted it to happen. But, oh my faith needed some work. Then I happen to come across an old prayer journal I had written three years earlier. It was one of those days. Longing, desiring, heart aching to be a mom. I wrote how I just wanted to be a mom, a stay at home mom. I completely realized that God was giving me the desires of my heart. I needed to trust him, depend on him and watch him work out the situation. Which is much like how Trevor and I got together... haha! that's a whole other story. Anyway, I prayed and asked God to increase my faith and I surrendered to his call. 

Here I am six months into this stay at home mom gig and I must again say God is faithful. Has it been easy? No, not completely. Have there been sacrifices? Absolutely. But God has provided in more ways than I could have ever imagined. The joy of being with my son everyday has completely outweighed any sacrifices I needed to make. 

So, this is my new season for now.  Again, I can't say it enough... God is faithful.  I choose to soak it up, enjoy it, take it in, knowing that this season will not last forever. 

Confessions of a Working Mom

Ok, so I wasn’t planning on taking this long of a break from blogging… but I did. Anyway, life has been whizzing by and I can’t believe it’s been over two months since I last posted. But as you can imagine, life is very busy now…. especially with a 6month old.

As a working momma, life can be quite challenging at times and there seems to be very little time to sit down and relax. Since going back to work in January, I have struggled with balancing or making time for my many roles, such as, balancing housework, feeling guilty when I leave Caleb at daycare, making time for myself, cooking meals, sleeping, and so and so on! If you don’t know me or haven’t read any previous posts, you may not know that I’m a girl who likes routine, lists, organization, and of course, being able to check things off my list! So, figuring out how to be a working mom has, at times, worn me down. As time has slipped by, I am continually learning to keep placing everything back into God’s hands and forever asking God for wisdom!!! And just let me tell ya… when you ask God for wisdom, he definitely gives it! He helps me to put things back into perspective and reminds me that I don’t have to do it all. I don’t have to be perfect….”Whew”. Just knowing this gives me peace and takes weight off my shoulders. I don’t know if anyone else feels this way at times but it is definitely something I struggle with. I’m so thankful I serve a God who is not asking me to be perfect, to do all the right “things”. He desires me to seek after Him with all my heart, to be available to be used by Him. I’m reminded in scripture to be like Mary and not Martha. (By the way, a good book that I’ve read on this topic is Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World by Joanna Weaver.) Now that I’m four months into this working mom thing, I can look back and see how God has given me strength, given direction, and has shown me how to balance this life he’s given me.

One thing for sure, my husband and I are a team. I could not do this without him. Many times since I’ve had Caleb and when Trevor was sick, I’ve thought about some friends I know who have raised their kids as a single parent and I must say, I should have prayed for them more. It’s a tough but rewarding role that can be challenging even with two parents sharing the load. Trevor and I have divided some of our household chores so that one person isn’t doing it all and to keep us on the same page. Since we both work, this is so helpful.

Another thing we’ve decided to do is turn off the TV. Several years ago, I worked at daycare taking care of 2 year olds. One family in particular made a huge impression on me. Of this family, both mom and dad worked but yet they were not the typical working family. As I observed their son, I noticed just how much he was content with little things. Even at Christmas, when I asked him what his favorite gifts were, he said, “Thomas the Train underwear and pajamas.”:) I finally asked the mom how they made it work. How do you foster family time when you both work? She said that they had decided weekday evenings were to be focused on family. They weren’t going to be a family that came home each evening and plopped down in front of the TV and not spend time with their son. She said they ate dinner together and they played with toys, games, and read books until bed time. They did not turn on the TV until after their child had gone to bed. For over 8 years, what she said has stuck with me. That family was proof to me that it was possible to create a strong family even while both parents work. So, we’re trying to keep the TV off in the evenings until Caleb has gone to bed. We haven’t been doing this every night but we’ve found that we enjoy our evenings so much more when it is off. We don’t let Caleb watch TV anyway, at least until he’s 2.

Some other things I do to help the mornings run smoothly are pack Caleb’s daycare bag and my school bag the night before. I hang out our clothes the night before. Ok, so I try to do as much as possible the night before. I sometimes even set out Caleb’s bowl, spoon, and bib for his breakfast for the next morning. It just makes the mornings less hectic. I hate rushing to get ready and there have been days I’ve had to do this.

I’m still a work in progress. I don’t have it all together (as much as I would like to say I do). As I have a desire to try and do it all…. I know it’s not possible and that some days things will be hectic and not flow the way I want it to. But I’m learning to keep my feet rooted in God’s Word and let Him lead the way. There’s no other place as comforting and peaceful as being in the hands of God.

Well, that sums up my last umm.. four months! Ok, well, while I’ve been learning the ropes of motherhood, I have been having fun along the way. Caleb is 6months old now!!!!!! He’s halfway to a year, ahhh! So, I am trying to soak up every little minute with him. He is SO much fun and such a good baby.

We went to the doctor for his 6mo. check up and he weighed 16lbs and 3oz, and 26 and a half inches long! He loves his jumper, rolling around on the floor, and anything to chew on. He also loves to listen to us sing to him and he has started this squealing phase. Bath time has become a favorite for him because he like to kick his legs and splash the water. I also love the way he raises his eyebrows up as if he is intently listening to me. He is content most of the time and smiles all the time. He also has his two bottom teeth in. He also is doing great with eating solids. His favorite food is apples. He seems to like most any fruit! Of course he’s saying “da da” and that just melts Trevor’s heart. I’m still working on him saying “momma”. He’s formed his lips like he was going to say it a few times but he never has. And who knows, maybe he was wanting to say “monkey”!! We celebrated his first Easter with Trevor's family. We had a great day despite the "blah" weather. He even got to find three eggs with daddy. He’s growing like crazy and in just a couple of weeks we’ll be looking at a seven month old!?!

I have 24 days of school left until summer and I just can’t wait!!!!!!!!

he found a water toy in his egg!

decorating cupcakes at Easter

We also have a lot going on this month that I’m looking forward to… visiting family, planting my garden, maybe strawberry picking (okay, Anna Ruth?!), and Caleb’s baby dedication at the end of the month. Hopefully, I’ll post on some of these events, but, if not… you know what I’m doing…. Heehee!!

Have a blessed weekend!!