Life

This poor little spot has been much neglected for quite sometime now. A lot has happened over the past year.

 Life... busy, fun, exciting, frustrating, overwhelming, scary. It seems life comes in seasons. As I look back over my thirty-(cough, cough) some years, I  can completely see how this is so true. I was married in my early twenties and of course, like most newlyweds, I tended to view my future and life with rose colored glasses. Of course, I had read the books,  had pre-marital counseling, and seemed to think I had a good grip on life. But I quickly realized that life requires work, effort, patience, understanding, endurance, and most importantly, a solid relationship with my Savior, Jesus Christ. Even though I "knew" these things, as I experienced "life", I became fully aware that it is not easy. I've experienced pain, loss, heartache, as well as joy, happiness, fulfillment, excitement. But, what I've learned the most is through it all, there has been one constant in my life who has proven himself to me over and over again... Jesus Christ. No matter what situation I have ever faced, he has been what I needed. He has been my peace, joy, firm foundation, and constant through every storm and joy of life. 

I say all of this because as I was thinking of possibly taking down this blog, I realized the original reason I started writing was to journal my journey.... which can not be separated from my relationship with Christ. I want to continue to document what the Lord has done and is doing in my life. May it be a source of encouragement to you and a reminder to my family and friends of the God I serve. He is a good God, a mighty God, the ONLY God! 

Over the past year, I have said good-bye to my job as teacher to stay at home with my boy. Originally, this was not my plan. But, of course Isaiah 55:8 reminds me that my ways are not always His ways. God had began tugging at my heart in the fall of 2013. You see, I have a story here. If you don't know me, then you need to know that my husband and I were not suppose to be able to have children. Well, the exact wording from the doctor was "you may have a chance with medical help". In other words, infertility treatments, surgeries, etc. Let me stop here and say I have nothing against medical help for those dealing with infertility. But for my husband and I, we both agreed that we did not want to go down that road. I had witnessed this same scenario with friends. After surgeries, traveling once a month for treatments, it completely took over their life and in the end they still ended with heartache and disappointment. I did not want that kind of life. We surrendered it to God and said your will be done. If you want us to have children, we will. If you don't want us to have children, we won't. Either way, we wanted God's will. Now, I realize I just made it sound like we were just happy go lucky either way. But in truth, we were heartbroken.  I cried... a lot! I prayed.... a lot! It was my desire to have children and be a mommy. Ever since I was a little girl, all I really wanted to do in life was to be a mommy. So, for 11 and half years we waited, we doubted, we trusted. We even attempted foster care. You can read about that here and here. Looking back now, we know God had a plan. Then we had the surprise of our life. In February of 2012, we found out we were going to be parents. Only God! We welcomed a healthy baby boy on October 18, 2012. 

 I went back to work after three months and did ok. It was difficult at first, but I loved my job and students and my boy was being taken care of in the same building which made my transition fairly easy.  But, truth be told, I felt like staying home wasn't an option for me, ever. And honestly, at the time it wasn't... but God had a plan.I survived the next few months until summer break and then enjoyed the best summer I had ever had. When I went back to work in the fall, I just felt dissatisfied. And then it happened, God spoke to my heart and began placing that strong feeling and longing in me to be at home, raising the blessing he gave me. I've been through enough in life and have read in scripture that when God says something is going to happen, it will! But, I doubted, was scared and unsure and honestly could not see how it would work out. But.... God had a plan. In reality, I wanted it to happen. But, oh my faith needed some work. Then I happen to come across an old prayer journal I had written three years earlier. It was one of those days. Longing, desiring, heart aching to be a mom. I wrote how I just wanted to be a mom, a stay at home mom. I completely realized that God was giving me the desires of my heart. I needed to trust him, depend on him and watch him work out the situation. Which is much like how Trevor and I got together... haha! that's a whole other story. Anyway, I prayed and asked God to increase my faith and I surrendered to his call. 

Here I am six months into this stay at home mom gig and I must again say God is faithful. Has it been easy? No, not completely. Have there been sacrifices? Absolutely. But God has provided in more ways than I could have ever imagined. The joy of being with my son everyday has completely outweighed any sacrifices I needed to make. 

So, this is my new season for now.  Again, I can't say it enough... God is faithful.  I choose to soak it up, enjoy it, take it in, knowing that this season will not last forever. 

I'm Back

Well, I'm back after a 6 month hiatus! I didn't intend on taking that long of a break, but I did. The end of my summer seemed to bring lots of exciting adventures that I just didn't have time to stop and blog about it. Then I went back to work in August and since then it seems life has been quite the whirlwind, but I must say I'm lovin every minute of it!!

I 'm finally getting to blog because we are kind of stuck indoors today due to the nice ice storm that came to visit! :)   I must say I love days like this because.... I stay in my pajamas all day, I lay around and eat junk/ comfort food, I have my family with me ALL day, and I get to do a few things that I want to do!! Also, the school I work at is on late schedule tomorrow. YIPPIE!!!! Although, this does not mean sleeping in for me. I really don't remember what that's like because I have a one year old who seems to think he needs to wake up between 5:30-6am everyday!! This works out great on work days, but not so much on the weekends. Oh well, on the positive side, I've learned I get SO much more done between 6am - 9am, than any other part of the day AND coffee is my friend! I keep telling myself to sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride because I know one day I'll look back on these years and realize how fast they went.

Well, around our house, we're in high gear for Christmas! The decorations are out, the gifts are bought, (well, for the most part), and our hearts are focused on the real reason to celebrate, Jesus Christ! I must admit, with all of the commercialism of Christmas, it can be difficult at times to keep our homes focused on the true meaning of Christmas. Now that I have a son, I've also been thinking about how to nurture him in God's Word and in understanding the real meaning of Christmas. I realize that my life and example will ultimately demonstrate this truth to him. Obviously, a child's understanding of God always starts in the home. So, I've been more mindful of how does my life reflect what I SAY I believe about God. Especially here at Christmas, I'm taking a step back, knowing what I believe about Jesus Christ, (his birth, death, and resurrection), but does what I believe reflect in the way I live my life. Because I do NOT want to be a Christian who says all the RIGHT things to my son but never show him that I believe it with my life.  So through prayer, I'm surrendering to God. It would be real easy for me to come up with a bunch of "things" to "do" to feel like I've accomplished this task. But, I know it's not about me and that I'm only human and that I can be a self-seeking, sinful human being at times. So, I continue to give it to God, read His Word, and follow His lead. So, for now we're keeping it simple! 

So, now that you know what I've been thinking on lately, I have more to update on but just don't have the time tonight to get it done. SO, hopefully, I'll post later this week on happenings around here and how my sweet boy is almost 14 months old!!!! So crazy!

Anyway, be blessed and keep Jesus the real meaning of YOUR Christmas!!!!!

Summer Fun

The summer, once again, is flying by and here I am again waiting two months since my last post. 

I'm completely enjoying my summer break. I'm trying to take in every second because I know before long the lazy days of summer will be over and school will be back in session. 

So, here is what I've been up to.....

-gardening
                                          not a great pic, but this is when first planted

                                            can't wait to eat these yummies!

-enjoying drying clothes on the line

-bbq/ smores

We bought a new grill since birds inhabited our old one and we've really been enjoying dinners from the grill. We also tried a new kind of smores... peanutbutter cup smores. They are addicting!

-reading lots of interesting books....

-and oh yeah, planning a nursery and our home for the arrival of a baby bOy! Everything is progressing well and I'm down to 13 weeks to go!

We received these cute outfits a couple of days after we found out we were having a boy.

- We also enjoyed spending Father's Day with my parents... 

-scrapbooking,  I'm really behind and trying to catch up before baby boy comes

-We also experienced an awful storm the last week of June that knocked our power out for five days and it just so happened to be the week that we had record breaking temps. Quite an experience that I will never forget but am also thankful for because it reminded me of several things.... 1. That I have much to be thankful for    2. That God is faithful    3. That it's easier to hear from God when all the distractions are removed    4. That I waste a lot of time with some electrical devices   5. that we depend on ourselves many times more than we depend on God       and lastly....    6. so thankful for good neighbors and friends

During this time, Trevor and I cleaned and organized the basement which made this nesting momma feel great! We also had a generator that kept our refrigerator running and we didn't loose any food, except a few things from our deep freeze that should have been thrown away anyway. And ya know that said grill we bought a month ago? Well, it came in handy when cooking for meals. One morning, Trevor even made bacon and eggs with it. Although this was a difficult time, not just for me but for so many people, I realize how much my joy and contentment doesn't come from things or even electricity but from the Lord. It will definitely be a story to tell our son in years to come!!

-This past week, I was also excited to get a day with my mom. We enjoyed tea together, shopping and a nice lunch out. We were able to do some thrift shopping, which I LOVE to do. Some things I purchased.... 

some books.. I'm always a sucker for books

maternity pants that I can wear when I go back to work

a cute purse for the fall 

some printer paper that looks like a scrolI which I can use at school 

I spent a whopping $8!! Whoo hoo, that makes this girl happy!

Well, this coming week I'll be traveling to have more fun times with my parents while Trevor is out of town. Looking forward to many more memories made this summer!

Foster Care- part 2

Well, it's been a while since I last wrote about our progress with our pursing to be foster parents. Probably, because there was no update to post until about a month ago. It's taken me this long to finally write about it. The week before Christmas we had our second home visit where they check our home to make sure it meets their requirements and standards for being able to bring a child into our home. In other words, our home needed to be ready and prepared as if we were going to take in a child the next day. So, needless to say, we worked hard at preparing for the visit. The visit went really well. We were able to turn in some of our completed paperwork and our home finder followed up with us on what was left to be completed and we scheduled a time for her third visit. As you can tell, we'd been planning and preparing mentally, emotionally, and physically for the past four months. So it came as a shock when we received an e-mail the next week stating that we had been rejected because of the age group we desired. My husband and I had decided that our age limit would be ten years old. We've been married for 10 years and felt that was appropriate and didn't feel we could handle going any higher, especially since we've never had children. Well, we were told if we wouldn't accept a teenager, they would have to reject us. Wow! You can imagine the emotion I felt. I was disappointed, angry - partly because I felt like we had been deceived into thinking we would get a child. I also felt like I had been punched in the face.

Now that I've had time to think about it, pray about it, talk to friends about it, I have finally become okay with it. I really had believed this was the direction God was taking us. We had great support. People were asking us how they could help. Someone had given us a bed and it just seemed that everything was working out and moving in that direction. Throughout the process, we had continued to pray that if this wasn't God's will that He would close the door. I am comforted knowing that His plans are greater than mine and His ways are better than mine. Although I don't understand, I know that God has something better in mind. And as Trevor and I pray about what other options we have, we also know that it could be God's will for us not to have children at all. Although that's hard to breathe in, I desire more than anything in life to please him and if that means not having children then I submit to his will.

As I have been wrestling with this for the past month, the Lord has used His word to strengthen me. Here are a couple of scriptures that I continue think on..
Psalms 20:7 says " Some trust in chariots and some in horses but we will trust in the name of the Lord our God.
James 1:2-3 says "Consider it all joy my brethern, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.

Here is a song by Hillsong United that has been encouraging and uplifting to me during this time.

Eventhough my circumstances can weigh me down, when I began to worship Him, being in His presence just makes my situation seem so small! I can't imagine how bleak, miserable, and hopeless my life would be without Him.

So, I ask for your continued prayers as we pray and seek where to go from here. Hopefully, as I tell my story whoever is reading this will be encouraged and know that God has a plan and purpose for you!!


Have a blessed Week!

Entering a New Phase of Life

Well, it seems a lot has taken place since my last post. I must admit I knew the month of September was going to be busy but I had no idea how exhausted I would be by the end. September was the start of several things for me . Let's see, the first week of the month the new school year started, children's choir at church began (I assist my husband), we began Financial Peace University at church on Thursday nights, and on Saturdays we began Foster/Parenting training classes from 8-4pm. Now with keeping that consistent schedule each week with school meetings and appointments thrown into the mix... WHEWW... that's a lot to do (especially for me). So, now I'm trying to get back to my "normal" life!

I guess as this month has brought many new exciting things, I wanted to write about the excitment my husband and I have about becoming foster parents. Let me say, first of all, this was not something I nor my husband had origninally planned for our lives. My husband and I have been married for ten and years and have been trying to have children for the past five . As we have dealt with infertility and have heard what the doctors have said, we began to seek God for wisdom and guidance. As I look back, God was always leading and He was always guiding... I just couldn't see it. Over the past several years, God had placed many different people into my life with different stories of being foster parents or foster/ adoptive children. As those seeds were planted, God began to speak to my heart about fostering and adoption. I have always had a love for children and I can look back over my life and see how God had been preparing me for this all along. Although  this may not have been the plan I would have originally chosen, there is nothing else I'd rather do! You see, I believe this is part of God's plan for my life... His purpose for me and I put my faith, hope, and trust in Him.  "For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose." Philippians 2:13. 

Well, it's been a year now since my husband I officially decided that was the direction God was taking us. It has been an exciting journey, one that we're still on. We are looking forward to seeing what God's going to do and excited about meeting that hand-picked child He has for us. We just completed our first step which is attending the six training sessions. It will still be another six months before we are able to get a child. Please pray for us.. we are excited but nervous as well. Pray that God will give us wisdom as we prepare are heart and home for this child.

Blessings,

Mary Ann

Back to School

So, it's back to school time around here and that means I've gone back to work! As a teacher, back to school is something you dread at the beginning of summer and actually remove it from your mind. But as the summer goes by and the end of August aprroaches, you begin to feel a bit of excitement and anticipation stirring within. Well, at least that's the way it is for me. I get excited about planning for my next group of students and all of the fun learning we'll be doing throughout the year.

Well, along with all the excitement also comes a lot of work, especially the week before school begins. There are meetings, classroom decorating, cleaning, organizing, paperwork, lesson plans, and so on. The days are long and exhausting. With long days, it seems my home becomes the last thing on my to-do list. So this year I decided everything would be different. I would plan ahead and make sure my home was not neglected. So I did the "big" things that I thought would take me the longest. I went to the school last week and arranged my room, decorated and even did some paperwork. I thought I was doing great! I felt like I was being prepared and getting ahead of the game... ya know that makes me feel good!

Well, looking back, now that I'm halfway through my first work week I can say that somehow the work always keeps coming. As I spend time in my classroom, I realize that I forgot to do something or take care of an important task, or another teacher needs help. So, here I am, a little stressed, tired, and excited from yet again long days and nights. As I look back, I realize that there is a place for preparation. But maybe what I forgot, which is most important, is that God is in control. As I trust in Him and put Him first, He is always there.. sustainning me and giving me the strength I need and even helping fit in a little bit of time to take care of my home. Everything may not work out in my timing but somehow it all works out in the end. How awesome He is!

A New Beginning!

Well, after much thought I have finally entered the blogging world. I never thought that this would be something I would do. After all, I am a private person. I've always kept to "my business". I've not been one too "let the whole world know" what's going on in my life. But in the past few months, I have found and followed different blogs that have been encouraging, inspiring, and uplifting. And as a result, here I am. After reading several blogs, I felt the need to document my story. As uncomfortable as it may be at times, I am willing to to share in hopes of encouraging someone else and to share the joy that God has given me through this journey.